I am thinking I may have a case of self induced "bipolaritis".
Is that even possible?
Because it sure feels like it sometimes.
Take yesterday, I was hanging with Linley at her soccer game drinking my warm chai on a chilly morning and I was treating her and her friend to pedicures afterwards before dropping Linley off at my sisters house to bake cupcakes.
I showered and wore make up. I threw clothes in the washing machine. I drove my car. I had conversations about the weather and Halloween plans. I kissed on my nephew.
Totally normal day.
And then there was today. Today was me with Piper and the endless laps around the Aflac Unit while attempting to chug my coca-cola and fend off her requests for Big Bird and allowing her to paste stickers on the doors so she wouldnt ask to eat.
I showered at lunchtime and totally forgot makeup. I pinned Piper into her stroller to walk to the laundry room. I followed her and her walker around and around. I had conversations about blood transfusions and fainting spells. I kissed half my family goodbye.
Not so normal day.
Not a bad day but I really am craving the ability to take off my shoes, grab a bowl of ice cream and catch up on what that crazy man and his 4 wives are doing on TLC.
What I am really craving is the life that I used to think would be so boring. Little did I know that all the last 2 years have done is make me ache for the simplicity of soccer games and dinner dishes. Of bare feet and laundry running. Of to-do lists and diy projects. Of both daughters cuddled together, playing together, living together.
I chose to enjoy the moments for what they are when I am here with Piper but I also fight against allowing myself to become angry at having so much snatched away from us.
I think that this "bipolaritis" may go nicely with my insomnia in an apparent attempt to make this mommy a hot mess.
Not going to happen, yall.
Normal or not so normal...we're doing it.