Sunday, November 13, 2011

no news.

I have no news. We have had a blessedly busy weekend and my mind has not often wandered over to the "results of my daughters bone marrow aspirate and potentially the rest of her sweet little life" side of things.

Thank God for that.

I am only posting because I am at a loss. I have spent a large chunk of the past 2 months scouring the Internet for cures, treatment options and a dash of hope for Piper. There is a frightening little amount of information out there. I cannot tell you how terrifying this is. We are continuing to make steps towards the bone marrow transplant here in Atlanta but I cannot help but feel like we are missing something.

I had so hoped it were St. Jude.

It was the best option...I cannot believe that Piper will probably miss out on this only because there is not enough room. Room, beds, space...who would have thought such simple things would be the deciding factors in how and when to cure my child.

And how am I still breathing, laughing, moving about when the very fact is that medical options for Piper are limited. That despite 2 years of the worst ugly you can ever imagine we are still facing such potentially such an even uglier few months. That irregardless of the primitive and fierce love and protection I have given Piper it may not be enough to push me through this season. I am weary. So weary.

Within this evening alone I have sent out 9 emails to specialist and physicians all over the States and Canada, all the while praying for an answer. I don't even know what to expect at this point and am constantly bouncing from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows ever imagined. This easy going mother has begun to morph into a frantic and aggressive mom at times when the sheer lack of options begins to prove itself.

You cannot do this Susanna, you are going to have to trust Gods sovereignty.

Yet again.

Remind me of that please sweet friends. And pray.


  1. Thinking of you guys & praying for you often.

  2. sus,
    its kelly....
    i may have an option for you to consider....please email me i dont have your contact info
    I Love You

  3. Yes, we will continue to remind you that the love and prayers are endless. we cannot possibly know all, be all, or take all, but Sus, I love you with ALL my heart...