Saturday, April 21, 2012

Target (again)

So yesterday I may or may not have hypothetically sucker punched some poor local lady and her weary but good intentions.

Maybe. Hopefully not.

It began in Target as most of my stories do. I've mentioned before that it is my happy place, only now I must give the toddler and toy section a large berth to keep from being sick. There's still a whole lot of Target left to loiter through despite this detail. So I went. I needed a front door welcome mat and nothing else.

I spent 52$ and brought many other unnecessary treasures home but that's neither here or there.

When I was through thoroughly perusing as many aisles as I could handle I stepped in line to check out. Remember all those unnecessary but happy treasures I had discovered? Me too. I was in front of a young and frazzled mother although it took me a minute to notice anyone which is normal for me. I currently have the attention span of a gnat or a middle schooler in algebra or a grieving discombobulated mother. She was handling two kiddos who were not enjoying Target as it deserves to be enjoyed but I smiled at the mom because I have been there. Of yes, no judgement from me...I get frazzled.

When she caught my eye she smiled wearily and said "I look forward to shopping alone like you someday".

So truth be told she sucker punched me first.

I stood there a wee bit tongue tied and everything got real quiet in my head despite the kiddos screaming and I got a little numb. Then I stuttered, which is nothing new for me, something about it not being nearly as wonderful as she would think and turned around quickly.

From the corner of my eye I could see her face fall and I knew she must have sensed that I was on the verge because nothing else was said and no looks were exchanged and I paid quickly and got the heck out of there.

I made it to the car before the tears began and when I slammed my door I rested my head on my steering wheel and sobbed. I hate shopping alone and quietly. I hate having to miss my Piper and be expected to somehow breathe still. As the tears fell and my shoulders heaved I looked up just in time to see this poor lady settling her kiddos into her minivan... Which was directly in front of my Camry. And she was sliding me looks like she wanted to say something and she looked horrified and I am certain she will never, ever shop at Target again without fearing a meeting with this wreck of a mommy.

So thats how I flipped out again at Target and that's how I may or may not need to find a new happy place.


  1. Sharing your tears and this poor woman's horrific moment all in one...oh the humanity!

  2. One of Ethan's low muscle tone issues is droopy eyes. People just say stuff and never (hopefully) mean harm but OH the hurt. It surely isn't even close to your encounter, but I just constantly have to have my guard up when out in public. Sigh.

  3. I constantly gripe (on Facebook and to anyone who will listen) about how much I despise shopping with my children. Right now you just made me realize how thankful I am for all of their whining, argueing and fighting in the store. I hope I never have to find out what it feels like to shop alone and in peace for the rest of my life as I so often have wished for. I am so sorry you had to. My prayers are with you.

  4. ughh, that puts a hurting on my insides. I love you wonderful mama. I pray that those moments of shopping alone will not be forever. May the Lord grant you peace and fill you in those times of duress.

  5. I am so, so sorry. My 8 1/2 year old died on April 16th. The stupid, although not intentionally harmful, things people say - it's the worst. You are not alone in your grief, I am riding the same waves as you unfortunately. Not that it makes it any easier ...

  6. I have been following your blog for some time now, yet this is the first time I commented. This is the first time I have read an update in a while and I have been praying for you and your family and Piper. I am from Memphis so it hit a note with me when you guys went there for treatment. I re-lived some of my childhood through your zoo visit with Linley. I grieve for you right now and I don't even know you personally. Yet I too am a mother and this could happen to any of my children at any time. I have to rest in the fact that my children are God's children first and foremost and then He has blessed me to supply their needs in this present time. I pray that you find comfort under his wings. Scour his Word for the words you need to hear from your Heavenly Father. Know that Piper is in a place where nothing I mean nothing can cause her pain and suffering anymore. In this I also pray that you are able to minister to others and give God the glory for everything you have experienced thus far.