Monday, October 12, 2009

I am a diaper changing pro.

Just suppose you were to have to change your (tummy sleeping) 3 month old child every 3 hrs round the clock, even though every mom knows NEVER to awaken a sleeping child. Because I now consider myself a pro and the Mother of the Year so I am going to share my tips with you. (hey...if Obama gets a Nobel Prize for having great ideas/plans, then I surely should get Mom of the Year just for multiple middle of the night diaper changing creativity.)

#1: Put your child in one of those (usually very pointless) gowns. And socks to her knees. That way her bum is already semi exposed and yet her legs remain warm.

#2: Put the correct sized diaper on backwards so that those crazily loud velro straps are on the top and you dont have to dig under her tummy searching for it at midnight. Or 3am. Or 6am.

#3: Put a diaper 3 sizes bigger than the one she wears so that the inevitable leak is semi-caught.

#4: Because the urine is only semi-caught, place layers of chucks absorbant pads and receiving blankets under her belly so that when your sweet bundle of joy pees through both diapers you can throw a layer away. And another layer again at midnight. And 3am. And 6am.

#5: When actually changing the diaper rely alot on your sense of smell and basic dark shapes to know whether you are wiping off the layer of "spackling textured" diaper rash creme or actual poop.

#6: When the bum smells no more or the dark shapes look a little less dark...add more "spackling textured" diaper rash creme liberally.

#7: Put all of your sweet little ones layers back on and cover her up and look down at her and think that surely. surely. surely. THIS child will never tell you that you dont love her. That somewhere deep in her pre-teen memory she will vaguely remember layers of diapers and the smell of that "spackling texture" diaper rash creme and will know that it means you loved her more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep. Of course, the lack of 3 hours of consecutive sleep did make you think you were qualified for Mom of the Year because of a few fuzzy diaper changing tricks. But overall you will know in your mind that you love that little chunkey monkey way more than you ever thought possible. And she too will love you. Surely.


  1. You truly are mother of the year! When this is all done and over with and Piper becomes the questioning child (like you were) and looks up at you and asks "Why not?" you will be able to give a better response than the one we all recieved from dad and mom, "Because I said so and I am the parent" but you will be able to elaborate and really hit the point home. :)
    I love you and miss you all very much!

  2. WOW! you should write a book - i would buy it and read it! #1 for advise and #2 for a few giggles! Your planting seeds and your rewards are going to be great!

    standing and believing for that miracle!

    Karen Forman

  3. You are mother of the year! At least in my book :)

  4. Why on earth are all you ladies up so stinkin' early today??? Was it even light outside when you were checking this blog??!! I know now who to call if we need relief/rotation schedules... The middle-of-the-night- ladies!
    Seriously, Sus, you are doing a great job. Obviously both sides of your brain are working together and we're really impressed! I think you should get a Nobel Prize...

  5. Okay; I get it...the blogspot website is 3 hours behind us. Anyway, I love you girls!

  6. Dream big! I think you've got Mom of the Decade because you affected positive change (no pun intended) not only for your little bundle, but for bundles across the globe!!!

  7. very, very creative!! We prayed about the diaper rash in our women's bible study today...Jackson has a little one that won't go away and every time I see it, I think of little piper and pray. I think it is the Lord's way of reminding me to think outside myself. :)

  8. I am so impressed by your creativity! I definitely think that you are in line for that award! Seriously, I'm glad the Lord is giving you creativity in your tiredness and strength to keep on doing what you are doing! We will continue to pray for the rash and vocal chords and Piper's healing. Also, praying for you as you juggle being Piper's mom and Linley's mom. I'm so thankful that your mom is there to help you out! Love to you all!
    Lisa Miller for all the Miller gang!