Tuesday, October 6, 2009
This afternoon after dropping Linley off with my mom, I headed down hwy 316 towards the hospital and had a good cry. I have never been so scared in my life...never felt so alone. I am so worried about Piper and her health, so worried about Linley being lost in all this shuffling around, worried about Chad and I and our marriage...just overwhelmed with worry. And please dont tell me that God is taking care of me or that its going to be ok...because I know that. I know in the long run I am going to make it, irregardless of how sweet Piper does. And yes, I know that God loves me but I also know that we live in a fallen world and that sometimes bad things happen no matter how hard I pray or cry or yell. I trust that the peace that has covered me the last 3 weeks will continue no matter how much I rail against God and I hope that when all of this is said and done, good or bad that I will look back with a newfound trust in God...no matter what.