Sunday, March 18, 2012

Highlight of my day.

Piper fought off the paralytic medication a little earlier. Nurse Karen was fixing Pipers ART line in her left wrist and told me that Piper was jerking a little... When she was retaping her back up, Piper wrapped her fingers around Karens hand and held on. I quickly called Chad and I grabbed the other hand and we all spent about 5 or 6 minutes talking with a semi responsive was beautiful. She nodded when we asked if she knew we loved her and was trying to form words around the tube as we sang to her...she agreed to listening to Annie tomorrow as well as watching Barbie with Linley. Her eyes fluttered against the cream they use to keep them moist and we were able to see glinpses of the sweet blue shes been forced to hid. When we told her she needed to take another nap, she shook her head. The entire time we were next to her we were able to feel her fingers grasp our own and we were able to see her body attempt to participate...the girl still has her vim and vinegar.

I'm thrilled to have had this with Piper. The decision to sedate and vent Piper was made so quickly I didn't have a chance to tell her what was going on and I could never have had enough time to feel her respond to my touch. Having this episode, while never the normal and surely not the most safe thing, made me cry anew. We were able to explain that she was getting sleepy medicine, that mommy and daddy were always next to her and that we all missed her dearly. And she was able to show us that she heard our love and that we are still her comfort.

As it should be.

Nothing made my day any better. And despite the continual bad news we receive this moment was given to us. I continue to pray for more moments...for a life together and more chances to squeeze hands and verbalize the fact that we all love each other so very much.

Her paralytic medication has been bumped up, we can't have Piper fighting off the ventilator. But while they can keep her from telling me she loves me no one will be able to keep me from telling her I love her...or take those beautiful moments away.

I praise God for this and I praise God for the one nurse we have had in 5 days here in the ICU who was able to simply say "this is good for you all" and walked put of the room and allowed us this time. Thank you Lord and Karen.


  1. So very grateful that you were able to spend a few moments with Piper reminding her of your unfailing love for her. As I go about my day, even in the middle of the night, y'all are never far from my thoughts. Continuing to lift all of you up in prayer.

    Much love from Rome!

  2. Crying, praying, pleading......

  3. I've been praying for a miracle, and I think you just got to witness one. Piper fighting off the paralytic drug wasn't an accident. It was a God moment if I've ever heard of one.

  4. Thank you Lord for this sweet little blessing.

  5. Hey I want yall to know I am praying for your family. My grandmother past a couple a weeks ago and she was on a ventalator and the nurses told us that she couldnt hear us but she could. She had that paralytic drug at this time too. My mom ask her if she was saved and she shook her head up and down. They can hear when their in that kind of state. And I thank God for the time we had with her. God Bless Yall!!! Chasiti Harris

  6. I am so in love with your family. It's amazing how someone you've never met can minister to you. I. come to your blog every day for two reasons: to check on your precious Piper and to receive my daily devotion from you. Without even realizing it, you are witnessing and ministering to US, as we follow your journey with Piper. My family is praying diligently, as I know so many others are doing. Im praying for healing, strength and peace. With my love and admiration,
    NeeCee Delk

  7. Praying and praying for you all!!!

  8. Thanks for sharing this precious moment with us!
    Praying always!
    Christy Tate

  9. Susanna, the beauty you find in the small things and your hearts response and ability to put words to those moments amaze me. I love you dear one. We continue to pray for all the moments to come.

  10. One of my friends posted the link to your blog on FB so that people could pray for Piper. I have been reading it for quite some time, and I just love your daughter so. It is amazing how you can feel as though you know someone that you have never even met. Your strength and unwavering faith is amazing and so moving. It puts me back in check in my own life daily. You are a wonderful example, and so many of us could learn a lot from you about how to turn to God in these kinds of times and hold on tight and how to appreciate the small things in life...the things that truly matter. I read your posts daily, and I find myself "checking on" Piper often--checking to see if you have put out an update. When I read your posts, I cry (well, actually, bawl my eyes out is probably more accurate). I cry because of what Piper is going through. I cry because of what you and your family are going through. And then, I cry because I long to have that kind of strength and faith. You are truly inspirational. I used to pray for Piper weekly, then daily, and now many times a day, I find myself not only praying for her cure, but actually begging for it.
    I will continue my reading of your posts, my "begging" of God for her cure, and my striving to have your kind of faith and devotion.
    Shay Rubin