It is 530am and I am wide awake. I have had numerous nights that I was still awake at 530am doing something very important like facebook games or washing the walls while pregnant with Piper but usually this time of the day never sees my face.
But we have an incredibly sweet nurse who is also incredible loud and Chad and I are sharing an incredible small couch/bed so I had to get up and take a walk. When Piper woke me up letting me know she was not enjoying the noises the sweet nurse was making I had the same waking up thoughts that I have had every morning since Sept 16th...and then I realized that its getting easier. When I wake up I still have a minute of disorientation and "what the hay-day" is going on but no longer that sick, sinking feeling. I still want to know what exactly has happened to my simple little life that I so took for granted but it doesnt bowl me over. This is a good thing.
Piper is doing better every day. She still has a "strider/stryder/striter" (not certain of fancy medical spelling) in her throat. This is the swelling and redness as a result of the musositis as a result of the HD Methotrexate. It is only noticeable when she is asleep and really, between her and Chad's snoring we have a regular orchestra going on in room 187. She was able to take 2 bottles yesterday...only one and a half ounces but its all about baby steps. We hope she will continue to take a little more each time and get off of the TPN...she must be eating on her own in order for us to go home. Her cultures still are normal. Her fever is totally gone and her both her BP and heart rate has begun to regulate. Her little bum has NO rash and this is the first time since she was diagnosed that she has a normal looking hiney. The next phase of chemo will probably be held off for another week so as to get her counts back up where they belong. Honestly I am ok with that because she is beginning to be back to her sweet, alert self. I dont often get a chance to treat her like a normal baby but really relish the times I do.